Bad things are happening in our world, and quite frankly it is writing my Morning Pages that is keeping me upright and semi-functional as I struggle to come to grips with it all. Today, I tried to explore the realms of fear and faith as they exist within me. I consider myself a kind, faith-based person, but I admit that my gentleness can too easily be displaced by an unpleasant stridency that rises out of some of my uglier fear-full qualities, like stubbornness and a competitive spirit. At this point, I feel like a mess of chicken-and-egg questions as I try to figure out what leads to what. Looking for relief, I asked myself about where I find God, about where faith still feels natural and easy. My answer? Nature.
I’m not a gardener, botanist, or biologist, but I take great comfort from people like David Attenborough and my own sweetie, Jeff, who tell stories of the cooperative and competitive duality of the natural world. Yes, mankind has messed with nature too much, but I don’t want to go there today, not when I need to nurture any seeds of hope I can gather.
For today, I will spend time with green things and buzzy critters in the quiet wildness of our garden, and I will marvel at their survival and gifting presence in the world. I will appreciate their willingness to take root, to flower and bring forth new life, again and again.
I will gratefully bring cuttings of fresh herbs into my kitchen to nurture both my soul and my body. For today, I’ll start where I am, with honesty and good intent. And tomorrow, too, I will continue to take one little step at a time towards whatever healing I can bring to the world.
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me…