I’ve missed my blog. As I have journalled about my grief and the shattered world in which I find myself, I wrote these words of self-encouragement: I will write and walk my way back to Life… I knew then that I needed to come back to blogland. One of the reasons for my being away all summer, even before Kirsten’s death, was that my wordpress design was no longer supported so I needed to revamp my look., hence, the changes which you’ve most likely noticed. The site is still under construction, so the general appearance might well continue to change and evolve in coming weeks, but at least I have my forum back again.
Despite my grief, and maybe partly because of it, I have some thoughts and images I want to share here. You see, life feels very precious to me right now. Fragile, yes, but I’m also keenly aware of the sweetness of relationships and the beauty that is all around me. As one who has always wanted to think I can look down the road to prepare for what might be coming, I’m now only able to take one step at a time. In fact, I think I’m doing pretty good when I manage to put one foot in front of the other.
My energy is low. I don’t want to allow this blog to become an obligation or burden, so I’ve decided to simply promise myself – and you – a weekly entry, knowing the door is open for additional posts as and when I want. Both Jeff and I walk with our eyes open for blogging possibilities, so there will still always be ample material to draw from. At this moment, I am keeping my possibilities open.
I know that I am walking through uncharted territory in my inner world, and its seasons will reflect on my experiences in the outer world, and vice versa. What I’ve always loved about Walking in the Word is the invitation and permission to be spontaneous, to focus on the the quotidien, the daily experience, rather than only marking the deeper insights and brighter aha’s of what I call my cathedral moments. Even though it is no longer a daily blog, I still want to show up here without my mask of formal writing and well-curried emotions. For me, that’s what it means to truly walk in the world.