I’ve missed my blog. As I have journalled about my grief and the shattered world in which I find myself, I wrote these words of self-encouragement: I will write and walk my way back to Life… I knew then that I needed to come back to blogland. One of the reasons for my being away all summer, even before Kirsten’s death, was that my wordpress design was no longer supported so I needed to revamp my look., hence, the changes which you’ve most likely noticed. The site is still under construction, so the general appearance might well continue to change and evolve in coming weeks, but at least I have my forum back again.
Despite my grief, and maybe partly because of it, I have some thoughts and images I want to share here. You see, life feels very precious to me right now. Fragile, yes, but I’m also keenly aware of the sweetness of relationships and the beauty that is all around me. As one who has always wanted to think I can look down the road to prepare for what might be coming, I’m now only able to take one step at a time. In fact, I think I’m doing pretty good when I manage to put one foot in front of the other.
My energy is low. I don’t want to allow this blog to become an obligation or burden, so I’ve decided to simply promise myself – and you – a weekly entry, knowing the door is open for additional posts as and when I want. Both Jeff and I walk with our eyes open for blogging possibilities, so there will still always be ample material to draw from. At this moment, I am keeping my possibilities open.
I know that I am walking through uncharted territory in my inner world, and its seasons will reflect on my experiences in the outer world, and vice versa. What I’ve always loved about Walking in the Word is the invitation and permission to be spontaneous, to focus on the the quotidien, the daily experience, rather than only marking the deeper insights and brighter aha’s of what I call my cathedral moments. Even though it is no longer a daily blog, I still want to show up here without my mask of formal writing and well-curried emotions. For me, that’s what it means to truly walk in the world.
5 thoughts on “Life Feels Precious”
I’m so proud of you my dear friend! Thank you for your words, for sharing your grief and your healing heart. It helps me and I know it helps others. Love you and Miss you!
Keep on trukkin’ Mama
Trukkin’ your blues away!
Thinking of you and Jeff
Keep walking dear friend… keep walking.. so many of us are walking with you in spirit!
Our walking in the world does not always take us in the direction we had planned, keeping the mystery in life. I have been thinking of you.
Working Together – David Whyte
We shape our self
to fit this world
and by this world are shaped again.
The visible and the invisible
working together in common cause,
to produce the miraculous.
I am thinking of the way the intangible air
passed at speed round a shaped wing
easily holds our weight.
So, may we, in this life trust to those elements
we have yet to see or imagine,
and look for the true shape of our own self,
by forming it well
to the great intangibles about us.
I share your grief, Kimberly, having lost my beloved mother, Trish’s mother and brother, and our cherished family cat during the past year–the last two within three days of each other. Like you, I want to move forward with my writing projects but get rolled by wave after wave of grief. The losses remind me of the passage of time and the aging of a younger self who believes in the promise of plenty of time and energy to pursue her dreams. Yet Death’s message is firm and clear: Don’t wait for someday. Do it now. So I drag myself out of bed every morning to do the work that is mine to do–pen to page, fingertips on keyboard, stringing letters together into words, words into paragraphs, paragraphs into pages until the story is told. I wish you courage, dear friend, as we move onward together as storytellers of the Aquarian Age.